PMS- I need to talk

I HATE MYSELF FOR ACTING COWARDLY;

I HATE MYSELF FOR FAILING TO CONTROL MY ANGER;

I HATE MYSELF FOR CRYING EASILY;

I HATE MYSELF FOR DOING THINGS HASTILY;

I HATE MYSELF FOR FAILING TO EXPRESS MYSELF FULLY;

I HATE MYSELF FOR THINKING TOO MUCH;

I HATE MYSELF FOR PAYING ATTENTION TO OTHER PEOPLE TOO MUCH;

I HATE SOMEONE TELLING ME, "IT'S YOUR OWN PROBLEM";

I HATE MYSELF FOR UNABLE TO STAY UP UNTILL 1 AM;

I HATE MYSELF FOR GETTING MYSELF DISTRACTED SO EASILY;

I HATE MYSELF FOR INDULGING IN MY OWN FANTASY- WAKE UP!!!;

I HATE MYSELF FOR SUFFERING THE ABOVE SYNDROMES (PMS) FOR EVERY MONTH;

ARGH! I really feel like screaming, kicking and even throwing things just to release the pressure and anger that are concealing in my body. I need to talk to someone badly. I feel like I'm going to explode at any moment if I didn't do so. What on earth is happening to me right now? Why I feel like the world owes me so much? Why I feel like shutting off myself? Why? Why? Why? A millions W-H-Y? Yet, I don't even know what I want. I just feel like letting go everything, carefree, no need to think so much, just do whatever I want to do. My friend today asked me, "Why you sounded so angry yesterday when we are discussing about the slides?" seriously, I don't know what I want to reply. I don't even know it myself. Of course, I can't deny that I don't feel right during the whole period of nutrition subject especially when my friends were discussing about those microscopic slides. So, I just told her. "Nolar…I just hate to see that lecturer, seeing her bring down my mood. " Well, this is not the case actually. If I recalled what happened yesterday, I don't think this is my answer to her. Sorrylar…when she asked me, I'm not prepared to tell her yet. I don't know where I am supposed to begin. All I know is this drawing of microscopic staining HAVE DRIVEN ME CRAZY!!!!!! I just couldn't comprehend a very simple experiment like this has caused me to see my lecturer a few times, discussing the same things endlessly with my teammates, having one or two persons presenting result differently and bla..bla…bla… what is going on lar????? I think I really lack of patience. I'm having my PMS, perhaps? I don't know. What I know is I already FED UP with all these things. Why can't I do my work nicely and smoothly? I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS AT ALL!! There is something bothering my mind. However, I don't what is it. I don't feel like talking. I know all these things will go off once I have gone through my PMS period (perhaps a few more days later). BUT, the process of going through this period is painstakingly suffering!!!! Really. I need talk.