The Climax ~ the 10 minutes before and after

Life has been really stressful recently;

With average 4- 5 hours of sleep per day;

Feeling anxious everyday;

Keep on worrying whether I can hit my target before “times up”;

Extremely pressurized and envious when another trainee got his first deal in this week ;

Tension reached the peak yesterday;

Being told that:

1) I looked puzzled some time

2) I can’t do it since I haven’t hit the bull’s eyes till now

Tears started to well up around the rim of my eyes when my senior told me about it personally;

Yet, can’t let those tears to flow down my cheeks;

Must try my best to stifle it no matter what;

Crying and sobbing will just make matter worse ;

Luckily I have my senior to back me up;

Keep on reminding and encouraging me that I CAN do it;

Taught me how to portray the image of you-know-what-you-are-doing to those DUPES that claimed this girl can’t do it.

Honestly, I was so down yesterday. It really seemed that all the miserable stuffs happened in one shot within that very 5 hours.

Once I heard one of my Utarian’s voice over the phone, I nearly cried out.

Out of sudden, I missed my Utarians so much;

I missed those days very much;

I felt like crying and spilling everything out to her in that very moment;

Though we are not that close compared to Banana;

The sound of her voice gave me a warm feeling and sense of belonging and intimacy;

Another dreadful hours passed by;

The apprehension heightened;

I nearly hit the bulls’ eyes with only a few millimeter away from the target;

I just need one call to change my fate;

Both my senior and manager strived hard for me.

Making sure that I got my incentive on that day. (Get a deal on your first week will be rewarded with RM50)

I myself have tried to call and so-called “chase” my customer but to no avail.

Another 10 minutes to go and that’s the end of it.

However, my manager didn’t give up on me.

She tried to call my customer again.

I saw her spoke on the phone for a while;

The only thought that came into my mind was “Argh…for sure it is a no-go (customer not joining the event)”

I was pretending that I was busy with my work, fixing up my documents though I should be making phone calls to find potential customers.

Seriously, I did not have the mood to do that. In contrast to my daily basis, I would have been punching the dials even if it is 5 minutes to 5.30 pm

I just felt like going home and leave the place as soon as possible.

JUST GET MYSELF OUT OF THERE!!!

Then, I saw my manager walked over to our “money fax machine” (being named so because it is the fax machine specially for incoming fax from our successful customer or deals)

I saw some light there.

My manager said it was only one customer instead of two.

Feeling heartbroken “2 become 1” (this is definitely not one of the spice girls 2 become 1 song)

Anyway, I still felt grateful that I at least got one for myself;

At least enough to prove to those dupes that I CAN DO IT.

However, when my eyes fall onto the registration form (incoming fax), I saw two names instead of one.. okay, this time I really puzzled

Apparently my manager was trying to fool me and my senior LOL.

I got 2 delegates for myself and one more to go for confirmation.

She went into our boss’s room to claim the incentive for me because it’s already end of working hour. Based on company’s policy, supposedly I was not eligible to get it because it’s already the end of my first week.

Thanks to my manager for persuading and convincing our boss to reward me the RM50 and at the same time, I saw my senior peeping and spying outside the room (more anxious than me lol)

Once everything done, I made an announcement: “HR Republic, 2 DELEGATES ” Then I RANG THE BELL TWICE.

later on, applauses and cheers came from my colleagues. My boss came out from her room, complimented my good work especially when I’m new in this industry, and asked me how did I feel. * perhaps my manager told her how down I was today LOL.

My reply, “Honestly, the last 10 minutes was a dreadful nightmare for me. I felt so disappointed and down. Seeing May (My senior) and Shamita (manager) kept on doing call backs (chase customers for confirmation) for me but to no avail.However, after the 10 minutes passed by, everything changed”

All my colleagues came to congratulate me and the feeling was really good.

But the most important thing is, I already proved to them that I CAN DO IT;

Who says science students couldn’t do sales and UTARIANs are definitely not a nobody.

Now that I have broken 2 eggs (my dad’s so-called idioms LOL) and only one more to go.

I don’t have to feel so stressful and my heart seems lighter now that I can open up myself and be the me, again. just like old time. XD